The Missing Piece: Why We Keep Chasing Happiness and Missing It
There is a well-known story in Zen Buddhism about an enlightened monk. After years of meditation, silence, and introspection, he attained enlightenment. His followers eagerly asked him, “What has changed?” The monk simply replied, “Before enlightenment, I chopped wood and carried water. After enlightenment, I chop wood and carry water.”
On the surface, nothing had changed. The same tasks, the same daily rituals. But inwardly, everything was transformed. The monk no longer sought happiness as something distant or separate. He discovered that true happiness was already present, hidden within the simplicity of each moment. The tasks didn’t change, but his relationship with them did.
This story invites us to reflect on our own lives. Why do we keep chasing happiness? Why does it feel like no matter how much we achieve, there’s still something missing? Perhaps it’s not the world that needs to change, but how we engage with it.
The Illusion of “When I Have… Then I’ll Be Happy”
Across cultures, we are conditioned to believe that happiness lies just beyond our reach. It’s a promotion away, a relationship away, a house away. We strive, accumulate, and accomplish. Yet, so many people who have everything they once dreamed of still feel restless, empty, or dissatisfied.
This is not a flaw in our character but in our conditioning. We believe happiness is a destination—an end goal. But as the Dalai Lama reminds us, “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” And I would add: it comes from your own presence, your engagement with the here and now.
Eckhart Tolle speaks of the “pain-body”—an accumulation of emotional pain that feeds on the resistance to what is. We resist the present moment because it does not match our vision of “happiness.” But when we resist the present, we resist life itself. The chase for happiness becomes an escape from the only place where happiness can be found: now.
The Endless Chase for “More”
Simon Sinek teaches about starting with “why.” But when it comes to our pursuit of happiness, we rarely ask why we want what we want. Is it because we truly desire it, or because we believe it will fill an inner void?
When we achieve something, the joy is often fleeting. We quickly shift to the next goal, the next achievement. This endless chase becomes a habit, a way of living that never allows for stillness or contentment. The philosopher Alan Watts compared it to playing music: “We don’t play music to get to the end of the song. The point is the music itself.” Yet, many of us live as though the purpose of life is to rush toward an imagined finale.
The Wisdom of Ancient Paths
Various philosophies point to the same truth. In Taoism, the concept of “wu wei” or effortless action teaches us that harmony arises when we align with the natural flow of life. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna advises Arjuna to act without attachment to outcomes. The Buddhist concept of non-attachment echoes this: suffering arises from clinging to desires, while peace is found in letting go.
The core message is this: happiness does not come from manipulating the external world to fit our expectations. It comes from aligning ourselves with the present, from embracing life as it is, not as we wish it to be.
The Shift from Doing to Being
What changed for the monk after enlightenment? Not the tasks, but the awareness. He was no longer lost in thoughts of past or future. He was present. Fully. Chopping wood and carrying water became acts of meditation. Life, in its simplest moments, became enough.
Imagine approaching your own life this way. What would change if washing dishes was not a chore but a sacred ritual? If your morning commute became a moment of presence rather than frustration? If conversations were moments of connection, not just transactions of information?
The philosopher Seneca once said, “True happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future.” When we release the need for “more,” we discover that the present moment is already whole.
The Courage to Stop Chasing
There is courage required in stepping off the treadmill of “more.” It feels counterintuitive in a world that celebrates productivity and achievement. But as Sinek might say, the “why” of our lives is not to gather trophies but to feel a sense of purpose and meaning. And that meaning is found not in what we achieve but in how we experience.
This doesn’t mean we abandon our goals. Rather, we approach them with a different energy. We move not to escape the present but to express ourselves fully in it. We pursue dreams not because we are empty but because we are already whole and wish to create from that place of fullness. In some cultures, this approach is called “enlightenment” or “awakening”
Looking at Peak States of Consciousness
Dr. Grant McFetridge describes various “Peak States”—sustained conditions of clarity, peace, and presence etc. that fundamentally transforms how we relate to life. Similarly, Dr. Jeffery Martin’s research into non-symbolic consciousness outlines stages of enlightenment or awakening as “locations” where perception shifts away from egoic structures and into deeper awareness.
For the monk, enlightenment didn’t remove the need to chop wood and carry water. But it did transform how he experienced those tasks. Instead of resistance or distraction, there was presence. Instead of striving, there was peace. This is the essence of a peak state or higher location—not escape from reality but deeper immersion into it.
It is not that we transcend life, but that we finally meet it fully, without the filter of constant judgment, desire, and fear. The tasks of life remain, but the suffering does not.
Perhaps enlightenment is not about escaping the ordinary but realizing its extraordinary nature. And maybe, just maybe, the happiness we seek isn’t missing after all. It is simply hidden beneath layers of resistance and longing, waiting to be uncovered in the simplest of moments.
So, What Now?
The next time you find yourself chasing, pause and ask:
- Am I seeking this because it feels true and aligned, or because I believe it will fill an absence?
- What would it feel like to embrace this moment as enough, even as I pursue more?
- How can I bring presence and purpose into this very task, right now?
Happiness isn’t a destination. It’s a way of walking the path. It’s chopping wood and carrying water with presence, gratitude, and awareness.
Maybe, like the monk, nothing will change on the outside. But inside? Everything can be different.
Keep exploring. If this resonated with you, I invite you to keep reading and explore more reflections on meaning, purpose, and the art of being fully alive.
